Suzy Update

Suzy is just growing, growing, growing. At her three year well check, she weighed in at 30 lbs, and is 3 feet tall! Although I've always loved her, I had a hard time enjoying her company for those first few years. After experiencing a very different baby in Andy, I now realize the poor girl really was just very out of sorts and had a rough beginning. I'm so glad to be past some of those reflux issues and I'm really enjoying the less fussiness that comes along with it.

Suzy continues to challenge me with behaviors that are so "not in the books". If any other mom out there is reading this and struggles with the whole, "Am I doing this right? Am I finding the balance between discipline and love?" well, I'm right there with you. Take for example, just yesterday. A few weeks ago, Suzy wanted to bring her childrens bible to bed to read to her babies. No big deal, except she still will rip thin pages of books on occasion. I'm not sure if it's accidental, or experimental. So, I told her it was probably best to leave it with the other books in the nook. She told me she would be careful with it and we discussed what a special book it was. At nap, she comes out of her room with her little bible and places it on the stairs, very sweetly with an "oh, crud" and very remorseful look. She says to me, "I don't think I can have this in my room anymore. Maybe we should keep it in the nook". I smile and say, "You need to be in your room, it's still naptime." (Nap time is not for discussion of any sort with me. She knows she is to stay in her room, regardless unless there is blood or a real emergency.) She went back in, and continued to play before going to sleep. As I went upstairs, I discovered that indeed a page had been torn in her bible. So, after I woke her up, I asked her if that is why she brought the book to the stairs. She looked down and replied, "Yes, Mommy. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it." We then did the whole, say a prayer and ask forgiveness thing which she did very sincerely. Then, we picked up the book, and moved on like it was absolutely no big deal. I asked her if she wanted to help me put tape on it and her eyes lit way up. (I'm not sure if it was because it would "make it right" or just the sheer pleasure at the mention of the word tape.) It was like I could see the joy of forgiveness in her eyes. It was a very sweet moment. Yet, odd. Developmentally, why didn't she hide it? Make excuses? Get upset? Anything? It was as if she was saying, "I know I messed up, please help me make this right." Isn't that odd for three years old?

On the completely other side, she freaked out and had a total meltdown that almost ended in time out when Andy spit up in the toyroom and I grabbed what I thought was the closest rag... her babies little blankie. What? I'm still very perplexed with how to parent Suzy. She has huge meltdowns for seemingly small things. However, upon further analysis, it seems like her world is very black and white. If it's a rule, you don't break it. What Mommy says to do, you obey right away. That part amazes me, given her age and such. However, with that comes the expectation that other people will follow rules in the same manner. Even with trivial things. Blankets aren't burp rags, she must pick out her own utensils, and the door can't be closed in her room, friends can't influence what she does, etc. Where do I find the balance of teaching her flexibility with rules of convenience while fostering the need for obedience for authority - not just mine, but her teachers, future bosses, and ultimately God himself.

Sorry for the rambling, just something I'm trying to process. I must say, however, that I am LOVING three years old. The meltdowns are now few and far between and Suzy is an absolute delight to be around. I can actually talk her through things right now and she is starting to be able to play with me a little more interactively. We make forts, do crafts, play babies, pretend to play board games, and I genuinely enjoy interacting with her doing mundane things like grocery shopping and washing dishes. She's become my little buddy. I love it.

One of the cutest things she does lately, is to try and comfort Andy when he cries. He cut his first tooth this week, so it's been a little more than usual. Rob and I both cracked up when she said, "It's OK baby brother, it's OK. It's not a big deal. There there." So funny. She offered him her bunny in the car the other day and was so sweet about it. "Here's my bunny. He'll make you feel better. You can chew on his ears. But not his hands. He doesn't like that."

Oh, sweet Suzy, I'm doing my best love bug. I pray for wisdom daily and when you are old enough, you will understand this more.